I must preface my P.E. report cards with a little explanation of my attitude toward physical exertion of any kind: 

Sports. Physical education & Exercise are words that have always struck the fear of God in me. Running, Working Out, and that Jazzercise crap makes my sphincter jiggle like jelly. 

In 30 years, I can only recall  four occasions where I committed an unforced act of exercise. In 1986 I started doing sit ups, I got up to 50! But then I had to quit because of a carpet burn on me bum. 

In 1987, I started to do sit ups again, but the first day of reps made me arse sore again, so I took a decade off to recover. 

In '97, I moved into an apartment complex with a resident's gym. It had everything! State of the friggin' art mate! But after a couple of nights of light to moderate tread millin' and weights I'd had enough, man oh man was my bottom sore for ages. So I just had to take some time out from all that malarkey. Finally, a few years ago, in a spurt of confidence and untapped energy, I went out and bought some dumbbells...ergh, I mean "A" dumbbell and I think it's in the garage collecting dust somewhere. 

Anyway, it seems this pathetic tradition of lethargy has been the one constant (other than masturbation) in my life. It made no difference when an authoritarian tried to get me involved either; however, they were paid to try, and try they did...but they always failed. 

Check out poor Master Bates' effort to get me pumped up about P.E. from my time at Mostyn House.